Once again, I hate my job.
Oct. 21st, 2010 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thelakeI wish my job was easier. I don't like being a software developer, but I'm not brave enough to quit and change my area.
Just yesterday they assigned me a project I know nothing about. Literally, nothing. It's web development with Java. I'm not a Java developer, I know nothing about it. I'm not a web developer, I develop desktop applications using Visual Basic. I know HTML very well, but it's a dynamic web project so static HTML knowledge does NOTHING for me.
I can't just say "I don't know this, give it to someone else" because being a software developer kind of forbids you to say "I don't know." You have to learn one way or another and it depresses me.
I don't want to learn. Lazy much? Yeah. Plus, it's extremely sad for a software developer to say she doesn't want to learn. Technology doesn't stop. You have to keep up with it every single day, but it requires you to LOVE the job and I don't have that. Hence, I am depressed about the situation.
But then again I've already had a responsibility for another part of the same project. The part I *knew* and liked slightly more. I still couldn't say no, because the person responsible for this new part is leaving his job soon. He got a better one, so somebody else should fill the void and that lucky person is me. There's noone else in the team. It's either me or they're going to hire a new person which is unacceptable at this point, because there's a due date on this project already. Argh, DO NOT WANT.
You know, I really hate complaining about my job, but I rarely feel good about it. It stresses me a lot and the time I spend learning one thing is longer than accomplishing what I'm supposed to do. I learn one thing, then they take it away and give me another completely different task to complete.
The work I do is tedious and difficult, but other aspects of this job (like workplace, friends, location, money, etc.) is as good as it gets. Or not, I don't know. Like I said I'm too lazy to find another one.
Maybe I should look for another job. Not a developer position, but an analysis position which I've always wanted. Or you know, quit altogether and be something else? But what. A writer? Who earns money from writing? Seriously. No one. Except JKR and Stephen King maybe. Or Tolkien, but he's dead now, so no point. I know writing is not a financially logical carreer path to pursue.
I'm pretty sure all these won't mean anything next month when I figure stuff out about the new project, but right now this is how I feel. I don't like my job. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. But I need the money and I'm too chicken to go out and try to find a new job. I'm stuck. Boo.
Feel free to ignore me.
Eta: I'm just going to leave this here;
Just yesterday they assigned me a project I know nothing about. Literally, nothing. It's web development with Java. I'm not a Java developer, I know nothing about it. I'm not a web developer, I develop desktop applications using Visual Basic. I know HTML very well, but it's a dynamic web project so static HTML knowledge does NOTHING for me.
I can't just say "I don't know this, give it to someone else" because being a software developer kind of forbids you to say "I don't know." You have to learn one way or another and it depresses me.
I don't want to learn. Lazy much? Yeah. Plus, it's extremely sad for a software developer to say she doesn't want to learn. Technology doesn't stop. You have to keep up with it every single day, but it requires you to LOVE the job and I don't have that. Hence, I am depressed about the situation.
But then again I've already had a responsibility for another part of the same project. The part I *knew* and liked slightly more. I still couldn't say no, because the person responsible for this new part is leaving his job soon. He got a better one, so somebody else should fill the void and that lucky person is me. There's noone else in the team. It's either me or they're going to hire a new person which is unacceptable at this point, because there's a due date on this project already. Argh, DO NOT WANT.
You know, I really hate complaining about my job, but I rarely feel good about it. It stresses me a lot and the time I spend learning one thing is longer than accomplishing what I'm supposed to do. I learn one thing, then they take it away and give me another completely different task to complete.
The work I do is tedious and difficult, but other aspects of this job (like workplace, friends, location, money, etc.) is as good as it gets. Or not, I don't know. Like I said I'm too lazy to find another one.
Maybe I should look for another job. Not a developer position, but an analysis position which I've always wanted. Or you know, quit altogether and be something else? But what. A writer? Who earns money from writing? Seriously. No one. Except JKR and Stephen King maybe. Or Tolkien, but he's dead now, so no point. I know writing is not a financially logical carreer path to pursue.
I'm pretty sure all these won't mean anything next month when I figure stuff out about the new project, but right now this is how I feel. I don't like my job. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. But I need the money and I'm too chicken to go out and try to find a new job. I'm stuck. Boo.
Feel free to ignore me.
Eta: I'm just going to leave this here;
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 12:03 pm (UTC)I think you need to have some fun, dude. Focusunu dağıtırsın. ~.~
no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 03:44 pm (UTC)hmmm, could you maybe start out writing for a magazine or a newspaper?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 04:42 pm (UTC)iiiinteresting. i always thought you at least liked your job. you always talk about benefits though, when I come to think of it. you never talk about the job itself. yes, very interesting indeed.
FREUD: ve seks.
yet i'm sure that you'll excell in this sooner than you think.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 02:14 am (UTC)I think it's not uncommon to feel this way about your job, but I do think technology is worse in some ways because of how FAST it moves. You really do have to learn so much ALL THE FREAKING time. I graduated, what, not even a year and a half ago? And I already feel like my skills are out of date because I don't care enough to keep up with the industry and learn new stuff in the meantime.
So yeah. I guess it really is about figuring out whether the good stuff (money/benefits) are worth sticking out the job. Like, for now, I feel like my job is good enough for me even though I don't really like it either. Or maybe I'm just scared, too. :-/
no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 08:55 pm (UTC)