thelake

This has been sitting in my computer for days! A good review before the 4th episode on Sunday ;)

As usual, since this is also a recap (a very weird and twisted one, but...) can be spoilerish for those who didn't have the luck to be a part of it.

All mighty king Silas is calling his birds, by shouting "Don't go!" to them. Very useful method and we'll later see the fruits of this effort.

No, this is not the result of King's screams. David is just being... half naked. In his bed. And apparently he is startled by something. You may think it's King's powerful voice, but no. It's the ghost of his dead brother. Touching scene, really... and half naked.

Sad and confused scene... yet, still half naked.
Do you hear me complain? Nope. None.

While David were sitting half naked in his bed -- HELLO! WE'RE IN THE NEXT PICTURE NOW! THANKS!--
Yes, Queen Rose is as awesome as ever. Thanks.

There is only one thing King Silas is annoyed more than anything in this whole wide fictional world: wearing a tie. And he is not afraid to show his feelings. Look at those lips. Poor King. *cue sad music*

I think there's nothing important in this scene aside from King's raised eyebrow.
Michelle and Rose are just being plain awesome as usual, so their presence is nothing to be mentioned specifically.

Hello undecisive annoying bastards from the enemy country with the tanks named Goliath! Nice colors, but still, annoying.

Hi, mom. Sorry, you're totally not a part of the general plot and you'll be ignored most of the time.. OH PLEASE, DON'T GIVE ME THAT JUDGING LOOK MA! PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU..

King: I'm just so annoyed with this annoying bastards from the enemy country with the tanks named Goliath. I can't even smile properly. See the murder in my eyes.

King: *sends a picture of the murder in his eyes to David*
David: *is astonished with pure fear and respect*

The credits were awesome. But not as awesome as the murder in King's eyes, nor half naked David in bed. Am I right, or what?

Yay! Hello strategically placed security guards for comic relief! and birds. See, they're here, because their almighty King ordered them to stay!
This country is going to prosper, even animals pay respect to their King!

Michelle: I heard you were half naked in your bed this morning.
David: Ummm.. yeah?

Michelle: I knew it wasn't a dream... *happy sigh*

King: Were you talking to my daughter (*insert suspicious pause here*) about your half naked position in your bed this morning.
David: *is blank*
King: *shoots murder weapons from his eyes*
David: *is a little bit dead inside*

Jack: I am actually amused this week! But this smiling position hurts my face.

Michelle: I feel something strange... Either Jack is amused, or I'm actually not Silas' daughter.

Jack: I'm almost annoyed by this joy ball inside my belly. I shall command some loyal soldiers. NOW!

Some random soldier: *says something unacceptable about the king that includes fart as a word.*

And as a reward of that remark JACK TAKES EVERYONE TO SHOPPING! and gives his credit card in a very sexy manner. *cue melting fan girls*

He likes being annoying and judgemental. This scene was enough for melting fan girls to go back to their human form.

David: OMG I NEED TO PEE!

Michelle: David... I don't know if it's appropriate of me to ask this from you, but...

Michelle: Can I just dream of you and Jack in that bed, just for a second. *does so while David is trying to hold back his pee*

Michelle: It was wonderful. You're the best, David.
David: *is peeing internally by now*

Queen: Michelle, I don't what you did to me, but I just can't stop imagining Jack and that new boy, what's his name -- David, yes, I can't stop seeing them in bed together.

Michelle: AREN'T THEY AWESOME?!

Queen: Not bad... Not bad, at all.

Queen: I shall go back to my room and think about this some more...

And again they manage to make the King flip out.
"WHAT IS THIS FUSS ABOUT DAVID AND JACK BEING IN BED TOGETHER! IS THAT TRUE!? I'm trying to save my country here and all you can think about Jack and David in bed together!? WHAT?!"

Jack: I feel someone cringing with fury and pain somewhere. It gives me endless pleasure, I don't even know what to buy anymore, I'm just so happy.

Jack: This is the best day of my life! *happy tears!*

Mom: I am really ignored, ain't I?

Mom: I think it's better for me to leave son. and just for the hell of it, you should come with me. Maybe I can manage to create some very NOT SO SUPRISING twist in this awesome episode.

David: *agrees* I need to change my pants anyway.

David: *realizes that he never actually looked like any other celebrity in this episode so he gives a painful Matt Damon + Leo Dicaprio look without a reason*

Fan girls: *melt a little*

THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME OTP EVER! Two kings in a dark prison cell! WHAT MORE CAN A PERSON WANT FROM A TV SHOW!? I just don't know.

Fallen King Abbadon: *learns the biggest secret in the whole wide fictional universe*

I'm sure somewhere Jack is having a very good time...

Silas: I'll be dropping some random clues throughout the season, all you have to do is sit here miserably and make everybody's brain explode with possibilities, alright? or else... *show the murder in his eyes*

Random events occur and we learn that a son named Andrew will arrive soon.
or not. We really don't care about this man much... And he knows it, look at the desperate look in his eyes. "I am not a big part of this plot, and I never will be... How am I supposed to compete with the murder in King's eyes, or David's half nakedness, or more importantly the outrageous gossip that has been going around: DAVID AND JACK IN THE SAME BED! I am doomed..."

*cue Beethoven Moonlight Sonata and please try to ignore the TV on the piano. Please.*

King: So, I heard you've been giving people wrong ideas about Jack and David. Do you think they can manage to surpass the murder in my eyes? Do you think that couple will have more fans than I do? Tell me, Michelle.

Michelle: It's really hard for me to say.
King: I know... *murder in his eyes is getting wilder by the minute* That's why I'll mention your secret vow right now, and drop a clue right here. You know you can never beat me when it comes to gossip. You know that right, Michelle?
Michelle: I do, dad.
King: OH YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE REALLY GOOD!

Random kid: *holding a carboard with the Don't Go written on it*
Obvious: *has been stated*

David: I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T LEAVE JACK--I MEAN MICHELLE!? WHAT!? I CAN'T LEAVE AT ALL, THAT'S IT! I'LL LEAVE THIS CAR AND GO MAKE A SCENE! NOW!

Now..

Scene: *has been made*
David: *is in trouble, yet again*
Annoying bastard from the enemy country with the tanks named Goliath: *is trying to be scary*
murder in kings eyes: *laughs its ass off*

Annoying bastard from the enemy country with the tanks named Goliath: I HAVE A FUCKING GUN! NOW WHAT!?

King: *shall intrude with his half-raised eyebrow and amusing murder in his eyes* What is going on out there?

David: *is amused but afraid to show it so instead he manages to look like he is trying to shit in his pants*

David: *is totally happy and comfortable now that he peed and pooped*

Michelle: *is taking this secret vow thing too seriously and leaves suspiciously without saying a word*

and somebody decides to kill David with a cool target effect in between his eyebrows. David is officially Matt Damon from Bourne Identity here.

I couldn't find the cap of the exact moment where birds flew over his head, but they did. And David's been saved. by the birds.

David: WHAT!? can't I be lame?
audience: *agrees* yeah, you can be.

David: I know, because I'm pretty.

So this episode showed us how it is impossible to beat the murder in King's eyes and David is pretty. Pretty simple and beautiful. Thanks for watching!

Credit for caps go to